Mom texts me to get food...
- Mom: Can u please being home some food
- Me: Like what?
- Mom: Noodles
- Mom: No Chinese food
- Mom: Chinese. food. pls
- Me: Chinese food? By the house?
- Mom: No mall
- Me: There's no Chinese food here.
- Mom: Where. R u?@
- Me: Mission Valley Mall
- Mom: Mongolian. NOODLES
- Me: k. ._.
This happened to me last week when I was tutoring at my school.
I was working with another student when a girl suddenly turned to me and said something like, “You’re so pretty” and smiled.
I kinda stared at her like
Before a I mumbled “Thank you” and smiled like an idiot.
(via herecomesinspiration)
Source: memecollection
:O
he FUCKING KNEW THE WHOLE TIME.
I have literally watched this movie 58 times, and I never made this connection.
Well I feel stupid.
(via bellaknoti)
Source: twistedtragedy
what is happening
You do not understand how much I would play this
i have never seen a human bounce that way
reblogging for lucas
where do I sign up
I am laughing so hard there is no sound. WHAT IS THIS. THIS IS AWESOME.
I WANT TO PLAY TOO! >DOMG
I WANNA PLAY!!!
C-can I join?
Source: ForGIFs.com
that-damned-elusive-pimpernel:
MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE if you say no, because I respect your boundaries.
‘CAUSE I’M LONG, AND STRONG
AND I’M DOWN TO GET THE FRICTION ON as long as it’s okay with you. otherwise I’m good with a movie and some tea.SO LADIES, LADIES, IF YOU WANNA ROLL IN MY MERCEDES please let me know ahead of time so that I can plan accordingly
BABY GOT self-respect
YEAH, BABY; WHEN IT COMES TO FEMALES, COSMO AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’ TO DO WITH MY SELECTION. 36-24-36? HAHA, only if you’re obsessed with physical appearances and believe that socially constructed ideals of beauty mean more than personality and an emotional connection
BABY, I WANNA GET WIT CHA, AND TAKE YO PICTCHA because your fashion sense is impeccable and I admire your capability for accessorizing as well as your witty response to my request.
SO COSMO SAYS YOU’RE FAT, BUT I AIN’T DOWN WITH THAT because every person on this planet is beautiful in their own way, and nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable in their own skin.
CUZ YOUR WAIST IS SMALL AND YOUR CURVES ARE KICKIN’ AND I’M THINKIN’ ‘BOUT STICKIN’ with you, but mainly because of your wonderful personality and awesome sense of humor. you’re beautiful inside and out - and the first is of utmost importance.
MY HOMEBOYS TRIED TO WARN ME, BUT they are basing their opinions on strictly superficial reasons. I’m sure if they hung out with you for a while, they’d see that you are an engrossing conversationalist on a wide range of fascinating subjects with an insane, subversive, sharp sense of humour. They’d see that you are kind and generous and infectiously passionate about the things you love, and that MAKES ME SO HORNY
(via teapartydarling)
Source: feministblackboard
People say, “I’m going to sleep now,” as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. “For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.” If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen. “They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be okay? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the ‘mind adventures’ got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren’t unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.” So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, “The creature is regenerating itself.
(via bellaknoti)
Source: endorfins
Source: furflesfeellings
I used to have a hamster that looked just like this. :3
(via teapartydarling)
Source: laylamaerose
“If a fetus is a human being, how come when there’s a miscarriage they don’t have a funeral?”
“People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it’s a continous process, continous, just keeps rolling along. Say you know something? Listen, you can go back further than that, what about the carbon atoms? Huh? Human life could not exist without carbon so, is it just possible that maybe we shouldn’t be burning all this coal? Just looking for a little consistency here in these anti-abortion arguments.”
“See, the really hard-core people will tell you life begins at fertilization, fertilization, when the sperm fertilizes the egg, which is usually a few moments after the man says, ‘Gee honey, I was gonna pull out but, the phone rang and it startled me.’ But, even after the egg is fertilized, it’s still 6 or 7 days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begans. And, not every egg makes it that far. 80% of a woman’s fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body, once a month, during those delightful few days she has. They wind up on sanitary napkins and yet they are fertilized eggs. So, basically what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who has had more than one period is a serial killer. Consistency.”
“Life is sacred, who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize god is one of the leading causes of death. Has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians all taking turns killing each other cause god told them it was a good idea.”
this forever
(via sanityisf0rtheweak)
- Woman: Can I have birth control?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
- Government: No.
- Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
- Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
- Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
- Government: Too bad.
- Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
- Government: Do you have a penis?
- Man: YES, YES I DO!!
- Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
- Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
- Woman: But-
- Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
Source: corrinda
The process is just as important as the result.